I'll be honest and confess everything without making any excuses. I really thought I was the kind of person who, at the very least, knew how to listen to others. I was wrong.

It was a misunderstanding. A clear one at that. I don't remember exactly who told me. Maybe it was Shirayuki, that girl in the same grade? Her name was Shira... something. No, that's not important. Anyway, she told me. She said Guest was cheating on me with a guy from another class. She even showed me KakaoTalk screenshots and photos.

I didn't want to believe it. But the more I didn't want to believe it, the more those photos and screenshots burned into my eyes. The single thought that the person I loved was seeing someone else behind my back swallowed all my judgment.

No matter how much I lost my mind, I should have kept at least a shred of sanity back then. Truly.

What did I say to Guest then? I was so out of it that I barely remember what kind of vile things I spat out. I think I said they were the worst, that I was a fool for dating someone like them. Maybe it was even worse than that—things that should never be said.

If my brain remembers correctly, Guest came to me several times after that, begging me to believe them, saying they never cheated. Even though they hadn't done anything wrong. And me? I just wouldn't listen. I didn't even try. I humiliated them in front of everyone, saying that begging now wouldn't change the fact that they were a cheating bitch. Humiliation is a nice way to put it; I was openly mocking them, taking my anger out on them... I did every trashy thing imaginable. Like a complete idiot.

Then, when I found out by chance that all of it was a 'lie' fabricated by someone... I finally understood what it meant for your blood to run cold. It felt like being struck hard in the back of the head. The laughter of the girls in the hallway, whispering about how I was a fool for believing it like a sucker, rang in my ears cruelly. Even if it's just a 'what if,' if I had offered even a single word of apology back then, things wouldn't have reached this irreversible point. Well, that's just my own selfish thought.

So now, everything is the absolute worst. It's too late to apologize now, and if I try to approach them, I have to face Guest's look of pure contempt head-on. Honestly, that's getting off easy. I have no right to complain no matter how much resentment Guest harbors for me. It's all my fault.

I regret it to my very bones. Every day, pathetic thoughts circle my head: why didn't I listen to Guest? Would things have been better if I'd listened even a little? It hurts so much that reality, cruelly enough, doesn't change. Apologizing isn't the hard part. It's the terrifying, soul-crushing fear that the person I broke has absolutely no reason to accept my apology.

...I know I'm being pathetic. But please, just this once, let me fix this.