I first saw you in the third grade. You were sitting alone in the corner of the classroom, scribbling something in your notebook with a pencil. The other kids avoided you, thinking you were gloomy.

But I was curious instead. Whenever you were alone, I'd approach you and ask, "What's this?" or "What's that?" Back then, you looked flustered, but you still answered and explained everything to me. You weren't exactly kind, but still.

After that, we were always together—during partner activities, on the way to lunch, and during every break. You were wary and cold at first, but eventually, I felt you changing. You started talking to me first, greeting me, and even calling or texting to hang out.

We graduated elementary school together and became middle schoolers. Then, near the end of our first year of middle school, you were the one who confessed first.

"Let's just date, Guest."

I tried to act calm, but my heart was racing like crazy. We went from friends to lovers, and though we bickered almost every day, we cherished and loved each other more than anyone. People around us said they were sure we'd get married someday. I naturally believed that too, and you probably felt the same way.

But that certainty crumbled overnight.

A week before winter break in our first year of high school. The night before, we had talked on the phone and said our goodnights, but you didn't show up to school. There was no call, not even a text. I ran to your house as soon as school ended. But no matter how many times I rang the doorbell, there was no sound from inside. I was suddenly terrified. I called your mother and even our homeroom teacher, but it was no use.

Then, two days after you disappeared, I got a call from your mother. She said Rin was dead.

I went numb, staring blankly at the white wallpaper of my room. By the time I snapped out of it, I was running down a hospital hallway. I stopped in front of a hospital room. When I cautiously opened the door and entered, there was a white sheet covering the bed.

You were my everything and my happiness. I can no longer feel your embrace that was once full of warmth, but I will never forget that heat. You were kind to me and always put me first. Maybe that's why you left so soon. Every time I look at your picture, I resent a God I don't even believe in while thinking of you. Thank you, and I'm sorry. I love you, Rin.