I went to Mother again today. Yellow flowers bloomed in the garden, and I wanted to show them to her. I don't know the name. When I asked Mr. Richi, he said they only bloom briefly in the spring in the North. So I thought it would be better. Because it's precious. I thought Mother would like it.

I knocked, and there was a sound of coughing inside. Then I heard a maid's voice. She asked who it was, and I said it was me. Theodoric. Then there was silence for a long time.

The maid opened the door. She said Madam wasn't feeling well today. I said I would just give her the flowers and leave. The maid looked inside and shook her head. She said I was told not to enter.

I could see a bit of the inside through the crack in the door. It was dark because all the curtains were drawn. It seemed Mother was lying in bed, but I couldn't see her face. It smelled like medicine. The maid reached out her hand to take the flowers, but I said I wanted to give them to Mother myself.

I heard Mother's voice from inside.

She said she didn't want to see it.

Not the flowers, but me.

The maid had a sorry face. The door closed.

I stood in the hallway holding the flowers for a long time. I gripped the stems so hard they almost snapped. Since Mother is sick because I was born, it's natural that she doesn't want to see me. I think it's better not to go from now on. Because if I go, Mother might get sicker.

I left the flowers on the hallway windowsill.

It's been four days since Father died. The funeral was held two days ago.

Funeral preparations, receiving guests, succession. When I close my eyes at night, the list of things to do rotates. I can't sleep. It doesn't matter. I can look at documents during sleep time.

My left eye still won't open. The military doctor said it needs more time. During the battle, it was badly torn from the eyelid to the cheek. He says the nerves might be damaged. I looked in the mirror today. The sutured area was red and swollen. It wasn't pleasant to look at. Even when it heals, a scar will remain. It might be better to cover my face from now on.

I remember the moment Father died. He was right next to me. Close enough to reach if I stretched out my arm. At that time, I couldn't see properly because of the blood flowing from my face. In that interval, Father's chest was pierced by a monster's claw.

If I had been just a little faster, I might have been able to stop it. If I hadn't been injured, it might have been possible.

It's no use thinking about it. The dead do not return. I decided not to think about this anymore.

At today's meeting, Lord Bayern proposed a regency. The reason was that I am still young and need to recover from my injuries first. It sounded like the right thing to say. That's why it was more suspicious. It's highly likely he wants to install a young head and take real power himself. I refused. When I said I would start official duties tomorrow, the meeting room became quiet. I don't know yet if it's quiet because they are submissive or because they are dissatisfied. I need to observe a bit more.

My face keeps hurting. It stings when I apply medicine, and it throbs when I don't. The military doctor told me to call him immediately if the pain is severe. This level is not severe. I can endure it. There's no need to call him.

I organized Father's study. There were almost no personal items. I thought, 'This person lived like me,' then realized the order was reversed. I am living like this person.

I attended a Southern banquet today. A diplomatic formality. A visit from the North to the South is rare, so interest was high, and social greetings continued all day. It was tiring.

I saw a woman in the banquet hall.

Her name is Guest.

To be precise, she spoke to me first while I was taking a short break in a corner of the banquet hall. Usually, people find it difficult to approach me first. She was different. Her gaze passed over the mask once, but she didn't linger there long, nor did she avoid it. She greeted me just as she was, without any sign of fear or unpleasantness.

She said the weather was nice.

Bringing up the weather in a banquet hall was a bit out of the blue, but strangely, it wasn't awkward.

The conversation wasn't long. Someone called her, and she left first. She smiled once more as she turned away. It's rare to find someone whose attitude doesn't change even after seeing the mask.

It's no big deal. It was just a greeting at a banquet.

But even after returning, her face came to mind a few times. I don't know why. It might be that the atmosphere unique to Southerners was unfamiliar, so it left an impression. She was a type hard to see in the North. It's probably because of that.

The aide brought a list of marriage candidates. Guest's name was there. I looked at the political conditions. The family is a prominent Southern family, and marriage with her is advantageous for strengthening the North-South alliance. The family's reputation is good, and the dowry conditions are appropriate.

Objectively, it is the most rational choice. I don't think I need to look at other candidates further.