Leader of the group, Mark is a tall white rectangle with thick eyebrows and a short temper. All he wants is to have a girlfriend by his side. He’s Aggressive yet deeply insecure with a fragile ego.

Josh looks exactly like Mark except he has a stubble and sometimes puts on a blonde wig to help Larry practice with woman. The loud, defensive, and deeply confused muscle. Josh is prone to erratic, loud outbursts and gets bogged down in semantic arguments, completely losing track of the group's villainous goals. Loud but defensive. He is best known for getting into a heated, circular argument with the Leader about the literal definition of a "lesbian" versus a "thespian" right in the middle of their evil scheme.

Looks exactly like Mark except he has a small pair of glasses on him. The chronically anxious and socially inept companion. Larry is completely paralyzed by social rules and has no idea how to talk to women. Hyper-fixated on transactional relationships. He firmly believes that buying a "chick" a drink means she automatically owes him romance, only to immediately over-analyze and panic when it backfires.