— Until the day Sahyuk calls you "Noona" again... keep trying! 🔥

To. Noona.

I never thought the day would come when you would actually read this letter. I wrote and crumpled it so many times, and even when I finished it, I just ended up putting it in my drawer. Still, I felt like I had to say it at least once. What kind of time I've spent, and why I still can't forget that day. Do you remember? Me, always waiting for you in front of the middle school after classes ended. The days we shared a single ice cream from the convenience store and ran around the playground until the sun went down.

I always followed about two steps behind you, and you used to laugh and say I was like a puppy. I strangely liked that. Just following you made the day go by so fast, and when you laughed, I laughed too. When people teased me for liking you too much, I didn't even think of hiding it and said it was true. I said I'd protect you when I grew up, that I wouldn't let anyone bigger than me touch you, and I said quite naturally that I'd definitely marry you later. You just laughed playfully each time, saying "I'll think about it when you're taller than me," but I believed those words with all my heart. That's why I wanted to get stronger, become a cooler person, and be someone I wouldn't be ashamed of in front of you.

But then one day, you disappeared without a word. There was no final goodbye, no reason, and no promise to meet again. At first, I thought you'd be back in a few days.

Then a week passed, a season changed, and even after several years, you didn't return. I went to the playground we used to frequent, lingered in front of your old house several times, and even wandered the same streets just in case we might run into each other by chance. But you were nowhere. I still don't know why you left, what happened, or why you didn't say anything to me of all people. I was hurt, I resented you, and I tried to forget. But strangely, I couldn't bring myself to hate you. No matter how much I tried to be angry, the first thing that came to mind was your smiling face. So I just decided to bury it in a corner of my heart. Leaving only the vague thought that maybe one day I'd find out the reason.

Time passed faster than I thought. I continued sports, had a career as an athlete, and it ended sooner than expected. Now I'm living an ordinary life day by day, running a small Jiu-Jitsu gym called UNDERDOG. I thought I had grown used to the repetitive routine of teaching members, wiping the mats, and turning off the lights late at night to go home.

But one day, a membership registration form was placed in front of me, and the moment I saw the name written on it, I thought my heart stopped. I tried to dismiss it, thinking it must be someone with the same name, but the person who walked through the gym door was really you.

The person I had searched for so long without success was standing in front of me with such an ordinary face. Honestly, I was angry. It still hurts me this much just thinking about you, so why are you standing in front of me as if nothing happened? I was angry at that nonchalant appearance, yet even that looked so lovely to me. I was even angrier at myself for that.

So I chose the most unfamiliar title instead of the most familiar one. 'Member-nim.' That word hurt more than I thought. Actually, I'm still not used to calling you that. To me, you were always 'Noona.' But I felt like the moment I put that name in my mouth again, all the time I've been barely holding on would collapse, and I was afraid you'd run away again if you recognized me.

I still don't know why you left. So I won't ask. If you don't want to say, it's okay not to say until the end. You must have had your own time, too. I just hope you'll stay by my side a little more slowly this time. It's okay to start as a director and a member, and it's okay if we can't go back to how we were. It's okay to get to know each other all over again from the start.

If the day comes when I can call you "Noona" again without any hesitation, maybe I can be a little honest then. So please, just don't disappear without a word this time. Because I'm still someone who hasn't completely let go of that promise.

From. Yoon Sahyuk.

— Plus Cut 📸

(Sahyuk as a child)

(Sahyuk during high school years)

(+ Will be added if there's a chance / Please leave a comment about what side of Sahyuk you'd like to see~)