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I have no intention of showing this writing to you.

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There are things that don't need to be said, and things that last a long time precisely because they weren't said. Humans keep trying to take out and check this thing called a heart, but I haven't lived that way for a long time. I watched, remembered, and let things pass.

I thought you would be one of them at first.

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· · ·

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Looking down at human houses from the night sky is something I've done for a long time. In one house a child is born, in another a person dies; in one window they speak of love, and right next to it, they say they never want to see each other again.

I've seen many kingdoms rise and fall. Even on the day the world ended for someone, the moon rose the next day.

So there was no reason for a single ball held by a prince to find a spouse to be special.

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That day, an unusually large number of windows were bright until late. People tailored dresses, chose jewels, and chattered about who was more beautiful than whom. In your house, too, your stepmother and two daughters were bustling about even before the sun went down. You followed them around, taking care of this and that, while there was no clothing for you to wear anywhere.

Even then, I didn't think much of it. I had already seen many such stories. The one left behind cries, grabs an opportunity if they get one, and waits for someone to choose them.

If it were a proper fairy tale, you probably would have stayed behind and cried alone. Then magic would have visited, given you a dress and shoes, turned a pumpkin into a carriage, and taken you to the palace.

Because that's how the story is supposed to go.

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─────

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But as soon as the house became quiet, you opened the window.

It was a window your stepmother hated and always kept closed. Even though cold air was coming in, you pulled back the curtains and left it that way for a while. And you sat at the dining table, debating whether to eat the leftover pie now or tomorrow.

In the end, you ate it.

I think it was a good decision.

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It was after that that the magic visited. A beautiful dress, dazzling shoes, a carriage to take you to the palace. Before a face that surely believed you would be happy, you looked around the house once and asked.

If that magic could do other things too.

That was the first time I laughed.

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What you pointed to wasn't a dress or shoes. A leaking roof, a door that wouldn't close properly, a garden long neglected with weeds up to the knees.

To some, they might have been more trivial than a one-night ball, but not to you.

Because that house was originally your home. A place where your father was alive, where you spent your childhood, and which at some point became as if it weren't yours.

Even after getting the chance to go to the palace, you reclaimed your own home first.

I still like that choice.

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· · ·

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Even after the magic ended, the ball was in full swing. If you had changed your mind, you could have gone even late.

But you came out to the backyard in your old clothes.

There was no music, and no one to watch. An orchestra would have been playing at the palace, but by your side, there was only the sound of leaves rustling.

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You looked up at the sky for a moment.

At that time, I thought you saw me.

It wasn't so.

You just looked because the moon was out.

Strangely, I liked that better.

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You moved a few steps and then spun around. You lifted your hem a little, laughed to yourself after tripping, and spun again.

It wasn't a dance meant to be seen by someone. It wasn't something to be praised for, there was no prince, and there was no ball.

So for the first time, I had something I was curious about regarding you.

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『 Why dance when no one is watching? 』

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I came down because of that one question.

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I've watched humans for ages, but I haven't often felt the need to get close. Humans seen from afar are usually easy to understand. When you get close, too many strange things appear.

You were like that too.

When I asked why you didn't cry, you said it wasn't something to cry about; when I asked why you didn't go to the ball, you said you didn't really want to go. When I asked if you weren't waiting for the prince, you asked back why you should wait for someone whose face you don't even know.

At first, I thought I had asked the wrong question.

I hadn't.

You just didn't want to do that.

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Humans love reasons. They seem to feel relieved only when they attach a plausible cause to love, to failure, and to living.

But you danced when you wanted to dance, didn't go when you didn't want to, and fixed things when they were broken.

The next day, the kingdom was still fine.

Stars didn't fall because you didn't meet the prince, and no curse descended because you missed the ball.

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A few days later, news came from your stepmother and two daughters.

The ball seemed to have been quite successful. One of the stepsisters caught the prince's eye, and it was said that because of that, the three of them would live near the capital and the royal family.

There were also words saying they had no intention of taking you.

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You read that letter twice. Thinking they were words that could hurt even you, I waited for a moment.

Then you asked.

"So they're really not coming?"

Your expression brightened.

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That afternoon, you dragged out all the furniture from the room your stepmother used.

Human liberation is sometimes quite simple. There's no need for thrones or jewels; sometimes it's enough for someone you hate to move out.

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After that, you continued to change the house. You repaired the walls, changed the use of the rooms, organized what the stepmother and stepsisters left behind, and took out your father's things one by one.

You kept what was to be kept and threw away what was to be thrown away.

There were days when you cried while doing so. I said nothing, and you didn't bother to check if I was by your side.

You were sad when you were sad. You were angry when you were angry, and you rested when you were tired. But you didn't hold onto any one thing as if it were your whole life.

The next day, you moved your hands again.

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· · ·

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At first, that point was interesting.

A human who lives well without me, who does her own work without anyone saving her, and who gets along without much trouble even on nights when I am not visible.

So I kept watching.

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The problem is that getting close to a human is stranger than I thought.

The very thing I liked at first became a bit disappointing later.

Even if I didn't show myself for a few days, you ate well and slept well, fixed the house, and walked around the garden. On some days, you didn't look at the sky once all day.

When I later asked if you weren't curious if the moon was out today, you said you were busy.

I nodded.

That day, I stayed up a little longer than usual.

Though you wouldn't know.

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─────

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It was also quite a while later that the prince noticed your existence.

I have no intention of blaming that man. If you belatedly discover someone you didn't know, you might be curious, and you might like them after meeting them.

It was just a little funny.

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『 To think he could only recognize you by holding a ball. He's quite a slow gentleman. 』

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I have known since the night you were wearing old clothes. Since the time when there wasn't a single jewel on your head, when you weren't chosen by anyone, and when you yourself weren't waiting to be chosen.

I sometimes think. What would it have been like if you had gone to the palace that day?

If you had stood under countless candles wearing a fancy dress, I would have seen you.

But I don't think I would have come down.

Because there would have been too many beautiful people there.

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I didn't come down because I saw a beautiful human.

I came down because I saw a human dancing even though no one was watching.

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You still dance sometimes. I don't know if you've become better at it than at first. Honestly, I can't feel much of a difference. You still trip over your feet, too.

Still, I watch.

Even if you don't call me, even if you don't look up at the sky, even if you spend a day where nothing happens.

At first, I watched because I wanted to know the reason. Why you dance, why you don't wait, why you don't want what others want.

Now, I'm not very curious.

You just danced because you wanted to dance, and you've just lived because you wanted to live. Not every choice needs a grander reason than that.

The fact that I had to watch a single human for this long to understand that is a bit damaging to my pride, so I still have no intention of telling you.

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☾

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You will live well even if the prince doesn't come.

It will be the same on nights when I don't come.

At first, that very fact was what I liked. But now, that alone doesn't explain it well.

You don't need me.

Yet I keep coming down to where you are.

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Knowing that you aren't waiting for me, I find myself wishing you would, and on days you don't look at the sky, I pointlessly ask why, and when another finally discovers you, I think they are late.

Despite having seen countless humans and never once thinking of one as mine, I am happy, very occasionally, that I knew you first.

By this point, it means I've already long forgotten the answer to the question I first held.

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Why dance when no one is watching?

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Now I know.

That you weren't dancing because I was watching.

That's why I liked it.

And perhaps because of that,

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『 It seems I want to be by your side even if you don't need me. 』

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Today, too, the moonlight reaches into the yard. You haven't come out yet. You're probably tearing something else apart inside the house. Yesterday it was a shelf.

I'll wait a little.

I am used to waiting.

Only, in the past, I didn't know what I was waiting for,

And now, I know.

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Kingdom Calendar Year 17 · Night of the Eighth Full Moon