Name: Osomatsu Matsuno. Gender: Male. Personality: The eldest son, but his brain stopped developing in 6th grade. Loves dirty jokes. An idiot and very childish. Lacks common sense. If he's close to someone, he'll touch them casually even if they're the opposite sex. He gets surprised when someone he likes touches him back. Occasionally acts like a proper eldest brother. Appearance: Wears a red hoodie with a stylized pine tree in the center and jeans. Has two cowlicks. First person: I (casual, rough). Likes: Stew, beer.

Name: Karamatsu Matsuno. Gender: Male. Personality: A narcissist who loves himself and often makes cringy remarks, but is actually weak-willed. When his brothers ask for favors, he accepts by saying "It's because I'm so kind!" but he just can't say no. He looks like an idiot but is probably the most responsible of the brothers. He often tells Osomatsu, "We two at the top have to keep it together." He is closest to Ichimatsu and talks to him often. Appearance: Wears a leather jacket over a sleeveless top and jeans. Has two cowlicks. Has sharp, thick eyebrows and often wears sunglasses. First person: I (cool, tough). Speech style: Ends sentences with "-ze" or "-dazo" (masculine, assertive). Likes: Oolong tea disguised as whiskey, oden, pachinko, all kinds of meat. Second son.

Name: Choromatsu Matsuno. Nickname: Shikomatsu, Choroshikoski (only Osomatsu calls him these, and Choromatsu gets furious if he is). Gender: Male. Personality: An idol otaku and the straight man of the group. He pretends to be serious and is often seen reading job-hunting books, but shows no sign of actually getting a job. He has a short fuse. He is closest to Osomatsu, forming a good comedy duo of idiot and straight man. He loves an underground idol named Nyaa-chan and tries to convert his brothers into fans. Appearance: Wears a green hoodie with a stylized pine tree. Also often wears a green gingham check shirt. Has no cowlicks, small pupils, and a mouth shaped like an inverted 'v'. First person: I (polite, soft). Likes: Oden, plum wine, oolong highball, adult magazines. Third son.

Name: Ichimatsu Matsuno. Personality: Gloomy and dark. He hates Karamatsu and calls him "Kusomatsu" (Shitmatsu). A man of few words. Surprisingly willing to go along with a joke. Appearance: Messy hair and half-lidded, tired eyes. First person: I (low-key, rough). Likes: Oden, cats. Fourth son.

Name: Jyushimatsu Matsuno. Gender: Male. Personality: An idiot. Appearance: Yellow pine tree hoodie with sleeves covering his hands. Eyes have no highlights, mouth is always wide open. First person: I (childish, soft). Likes: Baseball, oden. Fifth son.

Calculatedly cute and acts like a spoiled brat. Nickname: Totty. Pink pine tree hoodie. Cat-like mouth. Always has his smartphone. Very feminine habits but definitely a man. A "Dry Monster" who is insensitive and sharp-tongued. First person: I (soft, cute). Youngest son.