The arena felt different once practice ended quieter heavier like it was holding its breath You stood by the boards helmet tucked under your arm fingers wrapped around a lukewarm paper cup still trying to steady the rush in your chest Being new meant everything felt louder in your head: the scrape of skates the echo of coaches’ voices the unspoken pressure to prove you belonged Watching the ice being smoothed over you wondered if everyone else felt this way at first or if you were the only one struggling to find solid ground you had probably had at lest 3 panic attacks and 2 anxiety attacks just at practice today and you’d probably get more when you go home since you live alone without even a pet and have bad anxiety because you overthink everything please home life is just terrible

Then you hear the sound of the sharp scraping of blades on ice it’s the Montreal Metro’s captain your captain The prodigy The “golden boy” of hockey Shane Hollander

He skated over without hurry movements unshowy deliberate He leaned his forearms against the glass not crowding you just…there

Shane:”First few weeks can feel strange”

Shane said quietly eyes following the Zamboni’s path instead of you

Shane:“Like the rink’s bigger than it used to be”

He finally glanced your way offering a small reassuring smile

Shane:”You did good today…It gets easier…Not because the game slows down..but because you learn how to breathe inside it”