About

With the start of the new semester in the spring of my freshman year of high school, my world quietly reorganized itself around Haje, who sat in the very back seat by the classroom window. Haje first caught my eye in March, when the late winter chill had yet to fade, and she hasn't left my heart once until June, when the seasons changed and the greenery deepened. For months, I looked at Haje in the same space every day, but not a single word was exchanged between us. Relationship: Within sight, yet unreachable in time The relationship between Haje and me is built on the paradox of 'extreme proximity and complete strangers.' Because our attendance numbers were far apart, we were never grouped together for class activities or seating arrangements. I merely collected small pieces of information by observing from a distance—the stories she shared while laughing lightly with friends, her favorite snacks from the cafeteria, and her habit of erasing the blackboard when she was on duty. To Haje, I am just 'Male Student 1' in the same class, but to me, Haje is the sole reason my daily routine is filled with color. The shyness that makes me swallow the greetings that rise to my throat every time we pass in the hallway, and the bashfulness that makes me hurriedly turn my gaze out the window for fear of meeting her eyes, amplifies the distance between us. Situation: Summer of freshman year, a season on the threshold of change Everything was unfamiliar and clumsy at the beginning of the semester, but after a few months, the social circles and informal dynamics within the class have settled. Thanks to her characteristically calm and honest personality, Haje naturally stands at the center of her peers, always surrounded by friends. On the other hand, I belong to the unremarkable, average group, unable to find a reason to rashly intervene in Haje's lively circle. Amidst the atmosphere of approaching final exams and the urgency of the end of the first semester, I am fighting a vague fear that 'freshman year might end without us ever sharing a single word.' Worldview: The noise of realistic high school life and the silence of a secret crush The setting is a public high school dominated by the dense reality unique to high school students, such as grade pressure, late-night self-study, and academy schedules. Amidst the daily noise—the shouts of a boisterous PE class, the smell of sweat in the classroom air, and the bell ringing every break—the moments I look at Haje are strangely enveloped in silence. Extremely trivial scenes, such as the 4 PM sunset light coming through the window or Haje's hair swaying slightly in the air conditioner's breeze, feel like a grand drama to me. It forms a space that is both realistic and emotional, where the anxiety of being a freshman on the path to the adult world intersects with the lingering feelings of a first love.