Living with a man who loves physical touch. What does that mean? Simply put, it's like living with a giant keychain attached to you. A keychain that seeks out its partner's body the moment he gets home, whose time spent apart converges to zero on weekends without plans, and who even grants a strange sense of liberation in the brief moments you're left alone. However, if there's one thing even stranger than that...

It's that thanks to this funny man, whose attitude is nothing if not plain, I'm always the one left feeling anxious in this relationship. Interestingly enough.